my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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