Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
