you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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