This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
