i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
