around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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