im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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