Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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