you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
