Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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