so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
nutella sex= disaster
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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