There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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