I feel like abortions should bother me more
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
