a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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