I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize