Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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