its not stalking. its research.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
