Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
