I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm going to jail i love you
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
