i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
too bad you live with your parents still
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
