Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
