Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
