in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
