Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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