my mouth tastes like poor choices
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
