Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
