He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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