I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
