hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
