the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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