Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
