Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
