R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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