dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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