I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
