I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
What a dumb baby whore.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
