So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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