Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
