i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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