It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
