I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
