I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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