the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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