Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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