Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Randomize
