My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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