too bad you live with your parents still
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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