4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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