OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
