We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
