what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
