I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
