Plan B is the new Plan A
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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