If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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