i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
