i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
