I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
