Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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