They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
