I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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