Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
organizing the empties. That sober.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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