So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
