I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
